Greetings Brothers & Sisters,
As many of you have probably realized, things have been quiet around here for a while. I have been dealing with a number of challenges and having to wade through muck for the last couple of weeks. It has felt like one thing after another and has been an emotional rollercoaster. My Great Dane has a tumor on her ear that I had to have surgically removed and it came back, even more aggressively. They wanted us to have the surgery redone (which the first time was almost $900) and then send out the tissue for an analysis which in and of itself is just to tell us what it is and provide advice on treatment which is a few hundred dollars and that does not do anything to treat it. So we do that and then what?
Treatment (which probably would involve radiation) coupled with additional surgery and drugs to sedate her and the antibiotics to prevent infection will likely in themselves be a few thousand dollars. I went through this in 2019 with my thirteen year old Sheepadoodle, Bently; He had a tumor on his jaw and they removed and stitched it and then it not only came back aggressively but also spread into his lymph-nodes and even after all the treatment we had to end up putting him to sleep and then we were in debt, WHILE I was out of work, so lately my family and I have had to be weighing the pros and cons and ultimately facing euthanization. All we can do for now is make her comfortable but putting her to sleep is the reality we are facing and I refuse to let it keep me from doing the work the Lord has sent me to do.
On top of this, I discovered that near the front of my home there is water damage on the wall which indicates there must be a leak somewhere (possibly the roof, I don’t know). It has been raining a lot. There is the saying that goes when it rains it pours and it seems to be true! I just had a claim last year where there was a leak in my bathroom under the toilet that needed repaired and restoration was required because they had to tear up the tile and sub-flooring and then open the sealing below to dry it out, then redo it all and that caused my insurance to skyrocket upon renewal. I can’t afford another claim right now nor an insurance increase.
In addition to that, I have been wading through feelings of loneliness (nobody loves you when your down) and indifference among others, specifically Christians at times that I find appalling because we should be lifting each other up but I don’t see much of that anywhere and this in effect, coupled with these trials I have explained here, caused me to shut down for a brief time. This hasn’t just been my own experience, I have seen it happen to others close to me and truth be told, it makes me angry to see many who just think that throwing a verse or two at someone is sufficient. Put yourself in any situation that seems harsh and get back to me if you believe that. I think of the poor people in Louisiana right now and how doing that would work out for them in times of great emotional disturbance and lack. I have seen a lot of shrugs and ugliness already and it’s only been a few days. I’ve just been disgusted and disappointed and have witnessed much hypocrisy right now that I have had to seek the Lord’s wisdom on how to best deal with each one.
I’ve had to do this in addition to fighting the temptation to sin (temptation comes with these attacks as well) when handling these in addition to the vampires the enemy is trying to send to suck up all my funds. This is not the time to be spending exorbitant amounts of money on anything and I have had to give all of these to the Lord because I refuse to act hastily on anything right now. I just have to remember what the Lord says about trials and endurance and let the cards fall where they may. I can’t hold on to every single thing and eat a bucket of ice cream and sulk in misery every day. That’s just not who I am. We all need to remember that Christ gave us the ability to overcome as He overcame the world already as He suffered for us and as such a slave is not greater than His master which means we too have to endure.
So yeah, it has been one battle on top of another and I have shed many tears over the last ten days…many times not having the energy or focus to do much of anything. Though I had already been taking notes and doing study in scripture to work on my next podcast, I didn’t feel it was appropriate as the bitterness I have had to get over and repent of would have come out and I don’t believe in subjecting others to my problems. A few brothers and sisters close to me know about this, but I didn’t want it coming out in my work so that is the reason I have been silent. I have spent many days just being still in the Lord’s presence and asking for guidance. It just goes to show, as I have said before, that none of us -even those of us who teach are exempt from attacks or trials but on the other hand, when I have seen what others are going through, it reminds me how blessed I really am and can be a humbling experience.
The good news is, I am bouncing back now and have laid some of the ground-work on my next podcast which I hope to have out in a few days. I released a brief under two minute explanation this morning for those of you who follow my podcast regularly and I should have something for you all soon.
Thank you for bearing with me in times of uncertainty which we are all having to contend with at this time. I love you all and will have new content coming up shortly!
1 Corinthians 16:13 (NLT)
13 Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (KJV)
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Timothy 2: 3, 10-13 (NKJV)
3 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
10 Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
11 This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
12 If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
13 If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.
Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
James 1:2-6, 12 (NLT)
2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.
12 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 4:7 (NLT)
7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Jeremiah 17:7 (KJV)
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
John 13:16-17 (NLT)
16 I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. 17 Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.
Joshua 1:5 (NLT)
No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.
Psalm 27:14 (NLT)
14 Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.
Psalm 62: 5-6 (NLT)
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.
Psalm 125:1 (NLT)
Those who trust in the LORD are as secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever.
Psalm 130:5 (NLT)
5 I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word.